Journal

April
So this benefactor offers me hope…there is no hope for us, the world is broken, the people have lost their civilization and their minds. I can hope to survive to play his little game, but what of my mind? Will I hunger for human flesh, am I that sick? If I don’t eat soon, I am going to die, I know it. I wake up with despair; I go to sleep with despair. The air is thick with it. The only question I ask myself is can I do what I must to survive? The benefactor dropped supplies again. Lawlessness has turn the people into savage animals, only one survived to claim the food, soaked with human blood, there is no escaping what he wants…I’ve seen people eating people…What hope is there? He leaves guns now too, like we needed more ways to kill, if I get my hands on it, there is only one place for that bullet. I just need the will…will I put one in his head, will I put one in mine?

May
It is only lies that we have to hold onto, how do you rebuild the world? Amongst them will be killers, cannibals, all of us. I will never enjoy another day on this earth, as long as I have to see the scars…the cost of living here is too high, the cost of killing here is too cheap. I can see it happening, as I have seen it happen. The sadness turns to anger and the people change, What you know is right, what you know is human, becomes lost and instinct takes over, and humanity is lost, and the people have the ability to do horrific things…inhuman things. Maybe this is good. I should unleash this savage beast; the only thing in me that could give me the strength to survive… it is the survivalism. Words don’t help sooth my lost mind, beasts have no use for words, out goes the world, and out goes the rational thoughts...I am hungry. I must hunt for food.